De 10 geboden van Mark Kermode – Kermodes 10 commandments
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MOVIEMAKING – ACCORDING TO OUR LISTENERS
1. Thou shalt not be the death of narrative cinema as we know it.
2. Thou shalt blow the bloody doors off!
3. Thou shalt cut out 20 minutes and thou shalt make thine helicopter to explodeth.
4. Thou shalt not maketh thy film longer in duration than the time it taketh a mennonite to change his ways – about two hours.
5. Thou shalt as hero show no pain during a terrific beating but always wince when a woman tries to clean your wounds.
6. Thou shalt not cast Orlando Bloom as anything other than a shrub.
7. The Eiffel Tower shall be seen in the background out of every hotel room in Paris.
8. Thou shalt not turn on the radio in a film to add to the movie’s CD soundtrack.
9. Thou shalt be aware at all times that singers are not actors.
10. Thou shalt not be taller than Tom Cruise.
BBC – Five Live – Mark Kermode film reviews
